YO MAMA SO FAT >>
if she were an aeroplane, she'd be a jumbo jet.
when she farts the whole planet came out.
she was mistaken for God's bowling ball!
when she went to the zoo, the elephants threw peanuts at her
I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.
and you're so poor, when she comes in your house the tires pop.
the only thing attracted to her is gravity
the horse on her Polo shirt is real.
when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
when she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet.
when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
she needs a building permit for her girdle
her car is made of spandex.
she's got shock absorbers on her toilet seat
she was baptised in the ocean.
the animals at the zoo feed her.
when she steps on the scale it says sorry we don't do livestock
after she gets through turning around, they throw her a welcome back party
her favorite dress is a tent
when she hauls ass, she has friends come help.
she uses a hula hoop to hold up her socks
when she bends over we lose an hour of daylight
that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, the bitch caused an eclipse.
I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitches good side!
she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world
she got to iron her pants on the driveway!
she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
when she dances, she makes the band skip.
she's got her own area code!
when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back!
she uses a mattress for a tampon.
when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too
when she back up she beep.
all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama"
she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.
the National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts
she don't take pictures, she takes posters
she wears a watch on each arm One for each time zone
small objects tend to orbit her
her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!
when she sits at the beach, Greenpeace tries to tow her back into the ocean
they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through tunnel when they want to clean it
the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her
she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.
one day she was lifting up her rolls and a car fell out.
a picture of her would fall off the wall
when she goes to the beach, the kids yell, "Free Willy"
whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
she got on an airplane and only the wings took off
instead of Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's.
when she works at the movie theatre, she works as the screen.
when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed.
you have to roll her ass in flour and look for the wet spot to fuck her!
when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas
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YO MOMMA SO DIRTY >>
roaches ride around on dune buggies!
she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
she has to creep up on bathwater.
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YO MAMMA SO STUPID >>
she broke into a furniture store and slept on the floor
she put your puppy in the oven to make a hot dog
she sold the house to pay the mortgage.
she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
she wemt to Dr. Dre for a pap smear.
when she goes to a restaurant, she looks at a menu and goes, "Okay"
she wakes up in sections
she ordered her sushi well done.
you have to dig for her IQ!
she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
she thought asphalt was a skin disease. she thought Delt a Airlines was a sorority.
she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.
she gave your uncle a blowjob 'cause he said it'd help his unemployment.
I taught her how to do the running man and I haven't seen the bitch since.
she got on an airplane and only the wings took off
she has to fly cargo class
when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends
she thinks a sanitary belt is drinking a shot out of a clean glass.
she sells shade in the summer
when she lies on the beach, no one else gets sun
they have to grease the bath tub to get her out
she thought the board of education was a piece of wood.
she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.
she broke her leg, and gravy poured out
it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!
she uses a hula hoop to hold up her socks
she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
she's got shock absorbers on her toilet seat
she sold the car for gas money.
I have to roll her over twice to get her on her back
when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too."
she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!
she cant reach her back pocket
she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon
she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl
she went to a 24-hr store and asked what time they closed
she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on her foot.
she ran out of gas leaving Texaco.
small objects tend to orbit her
when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends
she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas
she got on her knees to drink her "Nehi" peach drink.
her belly button's got an echo
she asked you "What is the number for 911".
she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company.
when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.
the only thing attracted to her is gravity
she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us
she fell and made the Grand Canyon
she don't take pictures, she takes posters
that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
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YO MOMA SO UGLY >>
her belly button's got an echo
the phone company gave her two area codes
she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
she wears a watch on each arm One for each time zone
she has to wear a sock on each toe
when she steps on a scale, it says "To be continued"
when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras
when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas
she only has one toe on each foot, but she bought a pair of flip flops
she uses a hula hoop to hold up her socks
when she goes to the beach, the kids yell, "Free Willy"
she's on both sides of the family
She has to use a VCR as a beeper
she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.
she was Miss Arizona -- class battleship
I have to roll her over twice to get her on her back
they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
when she goes to a restaurant, she even orders the "Thank You, Come Again"
they push her face into the dough to make gorilla cookies
when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo
when she was born, her mom said, "What a treasure!"; and your dad replied, "Yeah, let's go bury it"
she asked me what kind of jeans I had on, I said "Guess", and she said "uh, Levi's?"
cows graze by her for the shade
when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
the NHL banned her for life
when she bends over we lose an hour of daylight
just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
when she sits at the beach, Greenpeace tries to tow her back into the ocean
people go as her for Halloween.
the highway patrol made her wear "Caution Wide Turn"
that she would have been in ET, but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse
she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
she invented glow-in-the-dark sunglasses /water-proof teabag/wheelchair with pedals
her mom had to feed her with a slingshot
she put your puppy in the oven to make a hot dog
she cant reach her back pocket
when I took her to the zoo, a guy at the door said, "Thanks for bringing her back"
when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains"
that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
when she was born, the doctor slapped her mother
people jog around her for exercise
she left home with high heels, she came back with flip-flops
she has to fly cargo class
when she steps on a scale, it reads "One at a time, please"
they knew what time she was born, because her face stopped the clock!
she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth
her parents first named her "Accident"
she needs to put a bookmark in her folds to find her belly button
when she gets up, the sun goes down
the National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts
she took your dog to the Canine Show and won your dog came in second
she sits on the TV and watches the sofa
when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up
when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends
she broke her leg, and gravy poured out
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YO MAMA SO OLD >>
her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
when she was in school there was no history class.
she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.
she ran track with dinosaurs.
she's in Jesus's yearbook!
she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block.
when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.
she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
she used to baby-sit Yoda.
she used to baby-sit Jesus.
she owes Jesus 3 bucks!
she has a Jesus Starter jacket.
she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license.
she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.
she watches PBS.
when god said "let there be light" she was there to flick the switch.
she sat next to Jesus in third grade.
she drove a chariot to high school.
she has Adam & Eve's autographs.
her birth certificate says expired on it.
and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything".
her social security number is 1.
when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing.
her birthday expired.
she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook.
she co-wrote the ten commandments.
she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
when God said "Let their be light", she flipped the switch.
she has Jesus' beeper number!
the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
her memory is in black and white.
she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
she planted the first tree at Central Park.
she squirts powdered milk out her nipples.
she baby-sat for Jesus.
her birth-certificate expired.
she owes Jesus a nickel.
she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.
that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch'
when she was young rainbows were black and white.
Jurassic Park brought back memories.
she owes Moses a quarter.
she's got Jesus' beeper number.
she was a waitress at the last supper.
I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.
I told her to act her age and the bitch died.
she has all the apostles in her black book.
the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.
when she reads the bible she reminisces.
she farts out mummy dust.
she has an autographed bible.
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YO MOMMA SO POOR >>
she drives a peanut.
your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.
her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
she can't afford to pay attention!
when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!!
when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
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YO MAMMA SO DARK >>
that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.
she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers.
she went to night school and was marked absent!
she spits chocolate milk!
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YO MOMA SO SHORT >>
she does backflips under the bed.
she can play handball on the curb.
she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.
she poses for trophies!
you can see her feet on her drivers lisence!
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YO MAMA SO NASTY >>
she pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh
She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh!
she has a sign by her pussy that says: "Warning: May cause irritation, drowsiness, and a rash or breakouts."
the fishery be paying her to leave
she has more crabs then Red Lobster.
she went swimming and made the Dead Sea.
she's got more clap than an auditorium.
that her shit is glad to escape.
she breeds crabs.
she made Speed Stick slow down.
a skunk smelled her ass and passed out.
Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off
her tits give sour milk.
she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her hair, then she opened up her blouse!!
she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles.
they call her Norelco... Home of the triple head.
she brings crabs to the beach
when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama jumped up on the table, spread her legs, and said "crabs!"
when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama put her foot up on the table and said "Corn!"
her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord.
she made speed stick slow down.
she made Right Guard turn left.
when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt
I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.
I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus.
she has to creep up on bathwater.
she made right guard turn left.
she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh.
she had sex with a woman and got pregnant.
she bought her boyfriend kneepads for christmas.
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YO MOMMA LIKE >>
a tomato source bottle, everyone gets a squeeze out of her!
an ATM, open 24 hours.
an ice cream cone... everyone gets a lick.
a hardware store: 4 cents a screw!
a refridgerator, everyone puts their meat in her.
a shotgun: one cock and she blows!
an elevator, guys go up and down on her all day.
a brick, dirty, flat on both sides, and always getting laid by Mexicans.
the Pillsbury dough boy - everybody pokes her.
a T.V. set, even a three year old can turn her on!
a bowling ball, she gets picked up, fingered, thrown down the gutter, and she still l comes back for more.
Dominoes Pizza, something for nothing.
Burger King... Your way, right away.
McDonalds... What you want is what you get.
a 5 foot tall basketball hoop, it ain't that hard to score.
the pillbury doughboy - everyone gets a poke!
a screen door, after a couple of bangs she loosens up.
a hardware store, 25 cents a screw.
a golf course, everyone GETS a hole in one!
Humpty Dumpty... first she gets humped, then she gets dumped.
Domino's pizza-- Something for nothing
a vacuum cleaner... a real good suck.
a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter, and guys go in and out all day.
a paper towel, she picks up all kinds of slimy wet stuff.
a refridgerator: everyone likes to put their meat in her!
McDonalds... over 5 billion served world wide.
the railway system, she gets laid all over the country!
Orange Crush: "Good Vibrations!"
the Panama Canal, vessels full of seamen pass through her everyday.
a microwave, one button and she's hot.
Denny's... open 24 hours.
speakers, loud, ugly, lives in a box, and you can turn her up, down, on, and off.
a railroad track, she gets laid all over the country.
a streetlamp, you can find her turned on at night on any street corner.
a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her.
a Toyota, "OOooh what a feeling!"
chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap!
a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her away.
a carpenter's dream, flat as a board and easy to nail.
Pizza Hut, if she isn't there in 30 minutes... it's free.
a vaccuum cleaner.....a real good suck.
cheap liquor, tastes like shit.
Discover card, she gives cash back.
a dollar bill, she gets handled all across the country.
a hockey player, she only showers after three periods.
a goalie: she changes her pads after three periods.
a championship ring, everybody puts a finger in her.
Bazooka Joe, 5 cents a blow.
a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, and then thrown in the gutter.
lettuce, 25 cents a head.
a library, open to the public.
a vacuum cleaner... she sucks, blows, and then gets laid in the closet.
a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded.
a basketball hoop, everybody gets a shot.
a bowling ball... round, heavy, and you can fit three fingers in.
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YO MAMMA SO HAIRY >>
she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock.
she shaved her ass and she disappeared.
she's got afros on her nipples!
she has afros on her nipples.
she got a trim and lost 10 pounds.
she spread her legs and said, "We're going to Busch Gardens."
she's a stunt double for Chubaca in Star Wars.
she shaves with a weedwacker.
if I shaved her legs, I could supply wigs for the entire Hair Club for Men.
she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.
her breasts look like coconuts.
Bigfoot is taking her picture!
you almost died of rug burn at birth.
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YO MOMA SO SLUTTY >>
she blind and seeing another man.
I fucked her and I's a chick!
is so long, its growing all the way down to her dick.
that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought she was getting it three times.
she had her own "Hands across her ass" charity drive
she was on the cover of wheaties, with her legs open, and it said "breakfast of the champs"
when she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her nice belt!
she could suck-start a Harley!
that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.
she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball!
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YO MAMA SO BIG >>
when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.
she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.
you can go bowling with her boogers!
they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.
when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!
when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.
that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"
she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.
her belly button's got an echo.
she whistles bass. she uses bowling balls for earrings.
she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.
she rollerskates on busses.
when you climb on top of her your ears pop.
she makes Pinochio look like a cat!
when she stands up the sun goes out
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YO MOMMA SO GREASY >>
Texaco buys Oil from her
she used bacon as a band-aid!
she sweats Crisco!
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YO MAMMA SO YELLOW >>
she spits butter!
traffic slows down when she smiles!
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YO MOMA SO LAZY >>
she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.
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YO MAMA SO SKINNY >>
she has to wear a belt with spandex.
she hula hoops with a cheerio
she turned sideways and dissapeared.
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YO MOMMA SO BALD >>
even a wig wouldn't help!
you can see whats on her mind
that she took a shower and got brain-washed.
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YO MAMMA SO TALL >>
she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.
she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.
she did a back-flip and kicked Jesus in the mouth.
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YO MOMA SO FLAT >>
she's jealous of the wall!
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YO MAMA GLASSES >>
that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.
she can see into the future.
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YO MOMMA HAS >>
one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying.
so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it.
green hair and thinks she's a tree.
10 fingers--all on the same hand.
a 'fro with warning lights.
4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses.
an afro with a chin strap.
a short leg and walks in circles.
one hand and a Clapper.
a glass eye with a fish in it.
one leg and a bicycle.
a short arm and can't applaude.
a wooden afro with an "X" carved in the back.
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YO MAMMA GOT >>
a wooden leg with branches.
two wooden legs and one is one backward.
a metal afro with rusty sideburns.
so many freckles she looks like a hamburger!
a' afro, wit' a chin strap!!!!
a wooden leg with a kickstand on it.
a bald head with a part and sideburns.
three fingers and a banjo.
so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail.
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YO MOMA SO SMALL >>
she has to go outside to eat a large pizza.
that when she orders a large pizza she had to go outside to eat it.
you have to go outside to change your mind.
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YO MAMA SO DIRTY >>
roaches ride around on dune buggies!
she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
she has to creep up on bathwater.
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YO MOMMA SO BIG >>
when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.
she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.
you can go bowling with her boogers!
they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.
when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!
when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.
that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"
she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.
her belly button's got an echo.
she whistles bass. she uses bowling balls for earrings.
she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.
she rollerskates on busses.
when you climb on top of her your ears pop.
she makes Pinochio look like a cat!
when she stands up the sun goes out
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YO MAMA JOKES >>
YO MOMMA JOKES >>
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