YO MAMA SO FAT >>
when she goes to a restaurant, she looks at a menu and goes, "Okay"
when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her back in the water.
she cant reach her back pocket
one day she was lifting up her rolls and a car fell out.
we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.
when she lies on the beach, no one else gets sun
when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station.
that her senior pictures had to be arial views!
she left home with high heels, she came back with flip-flops
she influences the tides
she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change.
when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th
when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale
she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
at a restaurant when they give her the menu she replies " yes Please"
her college graduation picture was an airial.
she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!
she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth
she puts on her belt with a boomerang
she don't know whether she's walking or rolling.
when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
she's got shock absorbers on her toilet seat
when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too
her nickname is "DAMN"
she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book
she could sell shade.
that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.
when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!
she shows up on radar
she broke her leg and gravy fell out.
She has to use a VCR as a beeper
and you're so poor, when she comes in your house the tires pop.
when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas
she's on both sides of the family
when the police showed her a picture of her feet, she couldn't identify them
she makes Free Willy look like a tic tac
when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.
when she steps on a scale, it says "To be continued"
when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
God couldn't light Earth till she moved!
the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale
when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
she's got Amtrak written on her leg.
the horse on her Polo shirt is real.
when she bends over we miss 2 days of sunlight
she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.
she has a run in her blue-jeans!
all the chairs in her house have seatbelts.
when she wears a yellow raincoat, folks run after her yelling "TAXI"
the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her
when she went to the zoo, the elephants threw peanuts at her
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YO MOMMA SO DIRTY >>
she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
roaches ride around on dune buggies!
she has to creep up on bathwater.
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YO MAMMA SO STUPID >>
she got hit by a parked car
when she went to the zoo, the elephants threw peanuts at her
when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."
she wears a watch on each arm One for each time zone
she thought she needed a token to get on soul train.
she only has one toe on each foot, but she bought a pair of flip flops
she needs a building permit for her girdle
when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas
she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book
the phone company gave her two area codes
she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
she broke her leg, and gravy poured out
she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.
she needs to put a bookmark in her folds to find her belly button
when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington's nose
she asked me what kind of jeans I had on, I said "Guess", and she said "uh, Levi's?"
she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on her foot.
she went to a 24-hr store and asked what time they closed
she wemt to Dr. Dre for a pap smear.
when she steps on a scale, it says "I don't do livestock"
she was Miss Arizona -- class battleship
she thought the board of education was a piece of wood.
that under "Education" on her job apllication, she put "Hooked on Phonics."
she stands in two time zones
she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away the W's
she bought a solar-powered flashlight
she stole free bread.
even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction
she could trip over a cordless phone!
she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
you have to dig for her IQ!
she left home with high heels, she came back with flip-flops
she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth
I taught her how to do the running man and I haven't seen the bitch since.
she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
she spent twenty minutes staring at the orange juice carton because it said "Concentrate"
the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale
She has to use a VCR as a beeper
the National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts
she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind.
she thought hamburger helper came with another person.
I strangled her with a cordless phone
she's on both sides of the family
when you get on top of her your ears pop
she cant tie her own shoes
she ran out of gas leaving Texaco.
that she sold the car for gas money.
she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.
she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us
she took a spoon to the superbowl.
she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home.
everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil
she has to fly cargo class
after she gets through turning around, they throw her a welcome back party
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YO MOMA SO UGLY >>
when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck
they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through tunnel when they want to clean it
your daddy takes her to work so he doesn't need to kiss her goodbye
they have to grease the bath tub to get her out
she sells shade in the summer
that she would have been in ET, but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse
she needed her ears pierced with a harpoon
she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
when she bends over we lose an hour of daylight
when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo
she needs a building permit for her girdle
the only thing attracted to her is gravity
after she gets through turning around, they throw her a welcome back party
she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.
she's got shock absorbers on her toilet seat
she cant tie her own shoes
when you get on top of her your ears pop
when she sits at the beach, Greenpeace tries to tow her back into the ocean
she looks out the window and gets arrested!
when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras
she don't take pictures, she takes posters
she sits on the TV and watches the sofa
she took your dog to the Canine Show and won your dog came in second
her parents first named her "Accident"
when she lies on the beach, no one else gets sun
even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
they put her in dough and made monster cookies!
when she was born, her mom said, "What a treasure!"; and your dad replied, "Yeah, let's go bury it"
when she threw a boomerang, it wouldn't come back
she was Miss Arizona -- class battleship
she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us
the NHL banned her for life
I have to roll her over twice to get her on her back
she has to iron her pants on the driveway
she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon
she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
when she goes to the beach, the kids yell, "Free Willy"
she stands up on an empty bus
when she wears a Malcom X shirt, helicopters try to land on her
when she steps on a scale, it says "I don't do livestock"
she shows up on radar
when she steps on a scale, it says "To be continued"
when she went to the zoo, the elephants threw peanuts at her
she has her own zip code
she scares the roaches away.
she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington's nose
She has to use a VCR as a beeper
I strangled her with a cordless phone
she wakes up in sections
she went to a 24-hr store and asked what time they closed
she farted and put herself into an orbit
she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book
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YO MAMA SO OLD >>
when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.
she has an autographed bible.
she's in Jesus's yearbook!
she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license.
she's got Jesus' beeper number.
she was a waitress at the last supper.
she owes Jesus a nickel.
she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.
she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
she used to baby-sit Jesus.
she ran track with dinosaurs.
she used to baby-sit Yoda.
her memory is in black and white.
she has Jesus' beeper number!
she watches PBS.
she has Adam & Eve's autographs.
the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
she farts out mummy dust.
her birthday expired.
she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block.
her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
she owes Moses a quarter.
she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
she drove a chariot to high school.
I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.
she co-wrote the ten commandments.
she planted the first tree at Central Park.
she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Jurassic Park brought back memories.
that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch'
she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook.
the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.
she has all the apostles in her black book.
her birth certificate says expired on it.
and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything".
she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.
she squirts powdered milk out her nipples.
when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing.
she has a Jesus Starter jacket.
when God said "Let their be light", she flipped the switch.
when she was young rainbows were black and white.
when she reads the bible she reminisces.
when she was in school there was no history class.
I told her to act her age and the bitch died.
she owes Jesus 3 bucks!
she baby-sat for Jesus.
her birth-certificate expired.
she sat next to Jesus in third grade.
when god said "let there be light" she was there to flick the switch.
her social security number is 1.
she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.
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YO MOMMA SO POOR >>
she can't afford to pay attention!
she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!!
she drives a peanut.
she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.
when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
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YO MAMMA SO DARK >>
that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.
she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers.
she spits chocolate milk!
she went to night school and was marked absent!
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YO MOMA SO SHORT >>
she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.
you can see her feet on her drivers lisence!
she does backflips under the bed.
she poses for trophies!
she can play handball on the curb.
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YO MAMA SO NASTY >>
they call her Norelco... Home of the triple head.
Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off
she's got more clap than an auditorium.
she made Right Guard turn left.
the fishery be paying her to leave
she brings crabs to the beach
her tits give sour milk.
she bought her boyfriend kneepads for christmas.
she made Speed Stick slow down.
she has more crabs then Red Lobster.
she has to creep up on bathwater.
a skunk smelled her ass and passed out.
when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama put her foot up on the table and said "Corn!"
when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt
she went swimming and made the Dead Sea.
she has a sign by her pussy that says: "Warning: May cause irritation, drowsiness, and a rash or breakouts."
she made speed stick slow down.
I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus.
she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh.
her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord.
when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama jumped up on the table, spread her legs, and said "crabs!"
she breeds crabs.
she made right guard turn left.
that her shit is glad to escape.
she pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh
she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her hair, then she opened up her blouse!!
I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.
she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles.
she had sex with a woman and got pregnant.
She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh!
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YO MOMMA LIKE >>
a vacuum cleaner... a real good suck.
a mail box, open day and night.
Burger King... Your way, right away.
a railroad track, she gets laid all over the country.
speakers, loud, ugly, lives in a box, and you can turn her up, down, on, and off.
a library, open to the public.
a hardware store: 4 cents a screw!
a dollar bill, she gets handled all across the country.
a 5 foot tall basketball hoop, it ain't that hard to score.
cheap liquor, tastes like shit.
a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded.
a bowling ball, she gets picked up, fingered, thrown down the gutter, and she still l comes back for more.
a chicken coop, cocks fly in and out all day.
a refridgerator, everyone puts their meat in her.
a doorknob, everyone gets a turn!
a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, and then thrown in the gutter.
McDonalds... over 5 billion served world wide.
a door knob, everybody gets a turn.
a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her.
an ATM, open 24 hours.
a vacuum cleaner... she sucks, blows, and then gets laid in the closet.
Pizza Hut, if she isn't there in 30 minutes... it's free.
a microwave, one button and she's hot.
a fine restaurant, she only takes deliveries in the rear.
a paper towel, she picks up all kinds of slimy wet stuff.
a Chinese restaurant, $4.95 all you can eat.
a telephone, even a 3 year old can pick her up.
a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her away.
chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap!
Humpty Dumpty... first she gets humped, then she gets dumped.
a hardware store, 25 cents a screw.
Discover card, she gives cash back.
a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen up!
a window, always open.
a light switch, even a little kid can turn her on.
McDonalds... What you want is what you get.
a shotgun, one cock and she blows.
a goalie: she changes her pads after three periods.
a nickel, she ain't worth a dime.
cake mix, 15 servings per package!
Sprint, 10 cents a minute anywhere in the country.
a T.V. set, even a three year old can turn her on!
a bowling ball, she always winds up in the gutter.
a vaccuum cleaner.....a real good suck.
a bus: Guys climb on and off her all day long.
a gas station... you gotta pay before you pump.
Bazooka Joe, 5 cents a blow.
a TV, even a 2 year old could turn her on.
a carpenter's dream, flat as a board and easy to nail.
the Pillsbury dough boy - everybody pokes her.
the Panama Canal, vessels full of seamen pass through her everyday.
a championship ring, everybody puts a finger in her.
the pillbury doughboy - everyone gets a poke!
a screen door, after a couple of bangs she loosens up.
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YO MAMMA SO HAIRY >>
her breasts look like coconuts.
she has afros on her nipples.
she shaves with a weedwacker.
she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.
she got a trim and lost 10 pounds.
she's got afros on her nipples!
she shaved her ass and she disappeared.
she's a stunt double for Chubaca in Star Wars.
Bigfoot is taking her picture!
you almost died of rug burn at birth.
she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock.
if I shaved her legs, I could supply wigs for the entire Hair Club for Men.
she spread her legs and said, "We're going to Busch Gardens."
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YO MOMA SO SLUTTY >>
she was on the cover of wheaties, with her legs open, and it said "breakfast of the champs"
that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.
that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought she was getting it three times.
she had her own "Hands across her ass" charity drive
when she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her nice belt!
she could suck-start a Harley!
I fucked her and I's a chick!
is so long, its growing all the way down to her dick.
she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball!
she blind and seeing another man.
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YO MAMA SO BIG >>
when you climb on top of her your ears pop.
she rollerskates on busses.
when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!
when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.
that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"
she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.
she whistles bass. she uses bowling balls for earrings.
she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.
her belly button's got an echo.
they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.
when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.
she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.
she makes Pinochio look like a cat!
when she stands up the sun goes out
you can go bowling with her boogers!
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YO MOMMA SO GREASY >>
Texaco buys Oil from her
she used bacon as a band-aid!
she sweats Crisco!
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YO MAMMA SO YELLOW >>
she spits butter!
traffic slows down when she smiles!
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YO MOMA SO LAZY >>
she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.
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YO MAMA SO SKINNY >>
she turned sideways and dissapeared.
she hula hoops with a cheerio
she has to wear a belt with spandex.
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YO MOMMA SO BALD >>
you can see whats on her mind
that she took a shower and got brain-washed.
even a wig wouldn't help!
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YO MAMMA SO TALL >>
she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.
she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.
she did a back-flip and kicked Jesus in the mouth.
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YO MOMA SO FLAT >>
she's jealous of the wall!
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YO MAMA GLASSES >>
that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.
she can see into the future.
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YO MOMMA HAS >>
one hand and a Clapper.
one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying.
so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it.
a short arm and can't applaude.
10 fingers--all on the same hand.
green hair and thinks she's a tree.
a glass eye with a fish in it.
a wooden afro with an "X" carved in the back.
an afro with a chin strap.
a short leg and walks in circles.
one leg and a bicycle.
a 'fro with warning lights.
4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses.
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YO MAMMA GOT >>
a' afro, wit' a chin strap!!!!
two wooden legs and one is one backward.
so many freckles she looks like a hamburger!
a wooden leg with a kickstand on it.
so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail.
a metal afro with rusty sideburns.
three fingers and a banjo.
a bald head with a part and sideburns.
a wooden leg with branches.
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YO MOMA SO SMALL >>
you have to go outside to change your mind.
she has to go outside to eat a large pizza.
that when she orders a large pizza she had to go outside to eat it.
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YO MAMA SO DIRTY >>
she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
roaches ride around on dune buggies!
she has to creep up on bathwater.
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YO MOMMA SO BIG >>
when you climb on top of her your ears pop.
she rollerskates on busses.
when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!
when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.
that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"
she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.
she whistles bass. she uses bowling balls for earrings.
she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.
her belly button's got an echo.
they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.
when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.
she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.
she makes Pinochio look like a cat!
when she stands up the sun goes out
you can go bowling with her boogers!
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YO MAMA JOKES >>
YO MOMMA JOKES >>
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