YO MAMA SO FAT >>
when she farts the whole planet came out.
when she walked in front of the TV I missed 3 commercials
she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!
when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
She has to use a VCR as a beeper
you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through
when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!
when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.
when she steps on a scale, it reads "One at a time, please"
when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck
she smells like bacon at 90 degrees.
that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips!
she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
she stepped on a talking scale and it said @#**&^%
her baby pictures were taken by satellite
she influences the tides
when she lies on the beach, no one else gets sun
she steps on a scale & it goes one at a time please
when she wears a yellow raincoat people say "Taxi!"
instead of Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's.
I have to roll her over twice to get her on her back
when she bends over we miss 2 days of sunlight
a picture of her fell off the wall!
whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitches good side!
that she would have been in ET, but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse
when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington's nose
sets off car alarms when she runs.
she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting called for a key violation.
when she went to the zoo, the elephants threw peanuts at her
when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
she farted and put herself into an orbit
she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed.
her senior picture had to be an aerial view
the difference between her and Moby Dick is about three pounds
she uses a mattress for a tampon.
she has to fly cargo class
her belly button's got an echo
she uses redwoods to pick her teeth
when she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet.
God couldn't light Earth till she moved!
she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
she's got shock absorbers on her toilet seat
when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!
instead of wide leg jeans, she wears wide load.
when she has sex, she has to give directions!
she's got her own area code!
she wears a watch on each arm One for each time zone
that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
when she tiptoes, everyone yells "Stampede!"
she stands in two time zones
the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
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YO MOMMA SO DIRTY >>
she has to creep up on bathwater.
roaches ride around on dune buggies!
she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
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YO MAMMA SO STUPID >>
she sits on the TV and watches the sofa
she needs a building permit for her girdle
she looks for the Sunday paper on Tuesdays
she took a spoon to the superbowl.
she got stabbed in a shoot out.
she fell in love and broke it
she could trip over a cordless phone!
the only thing attracted to her is gravity
she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind.
she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
that she sold the car for gas money.
she puts on her belt with a boomerang
she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home.
her senior picture had to be an aerial view
she stole free bread.
she farted and put herself into an orbit
when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.
she called the 7-11 to see when they closed.
she ordered her sushi well done.
the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale
she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
they have to grease the bath tub to get her out
she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your telephone bill.
she has to iron her pants on the driveway
when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.
when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."
the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs
I strangled her with a cordless phone
she don't take pictures, she takes posters
when she goes to the beach, the kids yell, "Free Willy"
she has to wear a sock on each toe
she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up
when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas
she thought meow mix was a record for cats.
she's got shock absorbers on her toilet seat
when she steps on a scale, it reads "One at a time, please"
when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends
she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.
she was Miss Arizona -- class battleship
when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington's nose
she thought the board of education was a piece of wood.
she took a cup to see Juice.
she asked you "What is the number for 911".
after she gets through turning around, they throw her a welcome back party
when she steps on a scale, it says "To be continued"
when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
she broke into a furniture store and slept on the floor
when she lies on the beach, no one else gets sun
she sold her car for gasoline money!
when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate
she gave your uncle a blowjob 'cause he said it'd help his unemployment.
she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.
that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
a picture of her would fall off the wall
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YO MOMA SO UGLY >>
they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up
she needed her ears pierced with a harpoon
she turned Medusa to stone!
they have to grease the bath tub to get her out
she asked me what kind of jeans I had on, I said "Guess", and she said "uh, Levi's?"
she stands up on an empty bus
she had to get her baby drunk to breastfeed it!
cows graze by her for the shade
when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington's nose
when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo
she has her own zip code
she has to fly cargo class
if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects!
she scares the roaches away.
she wears a watch on each arm One for each time zone
when she sits at the beach, Greenpeace tries to tow her back into the ocean
she wakes up in sections
when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras
she thought Taco Bell was a phone company in Mexico
that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale
she invented glow-in-the-dark sunglasses /water-proof teabag/wheelchair with pedals
when she was born, the doctor slapped the wrong end
they knew what time she was born, because her face stopped the clock!
when she bends over we lose an hour of daylight
she makes blind kids cry
I strangled her with a cordless phone
she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out
when she lies on the beach, no one else gets sun
she made an onion cry.
when you get on top of her your ears pop
they push her face into dough to make cookies.
when she wears a Malcom X shirt, helicopters try to land on her
she shows up on radar
that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.
when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
when she goes to a restaurant, she looks at a menu and goes, "Okay"
they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through tunnel when they want to clean it
they push her face into the dough to make gorilla cookies
small objects tend to orbit her
she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.
she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth
when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?"
she broke her leg, and gravy poured out
when she was born, they put her in an incubator with tinted windows
she sits on the TV and watches the sofa
she has to wear a sock on each toe
when she went to the zoo, the elephants threw peanuts at her
her parents first named her "Accident"
her belly button's got an echo
after she gets through turning around, they throw her a welcome back party
when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!
she bought a solar-powered flashlight
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YO MAMA SO OLD >>
she owes Jesus 3 bucks!
she watches PBS.
she ran track with dinosaurs.
when god said "let there be light" she was there to flick the switch.
she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
she has a Jesus Starter jacket.
Jurassic Park brought back memories.
when God said "Let their be light", she flipped the switch.
she has an autographed bible.
she drove a chariot to high school.
she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
her social security number is 1.
she's got Jesus' beeper number.
she has Jesus' beeper number!
when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.
the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.
when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing.
she squirts powdered milk out her nipples.
when she was in school there was no history class.
she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook.
she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.
she's in Jesus's yearbook!
she used to baby-sit Yoda.
she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.
that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch'
I told her to act her age and the bitch died.
she owes Moses a quarter.
she baby-sat for Jesus.
she has Adam & Eve's autographs.
I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.
she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
she was a waitress at the last supper.
she used to baby-sit Jesus.
she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.
and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything".
her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
she co-wrote the ten commandments.
she farts out mummy dust.
she sat next to Jesus in third grade.
she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block.
her birthday expired.
she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license.
her memory is in black and white.
her birth certificate says expired on it.
her birth-certificate expired.
she planted the first tree at Central Park.
she owes Jesus a nickel.
she has all the apostles in her black book.
when she was young rainbows were black and white.
when she reads the bible she reminisces.
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YO MOMMA SO POOR >>
she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.
when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
she drives a peanut.
when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!!
she can't afford to pay attention!
when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
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YO MAMMA SO DARK >>
she went to night school and was marked absent!
she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers.
she spits chocolate milk!
that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.
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YO MOMA SO SHORT >>
you can see her feet on her drivers lisence!
she does backflips under the bed.
she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.
she can play handball on the curb.
she poses for trophies!
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YO MAMA SO NASTY >>
She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh!
she went swimming and made the Dead Sea.
she made Speed Stick slow down.
she brings crabs to the beach
her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord.
she has a sign by her pussy that says: "Warning: May cause irritation, drowsiness, and a rash or breakouts."
that her shit is glad to escape.
I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus.
she pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh
her tits give sour milk.
she breeds crabs.
Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off
she bought her boyfriend kneepads for christmas.
she made speed stick slow down.
when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama jumped up on the table, spread her legs, and said "crabs!"
she had sex with a woman and got pregnant.
when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama put her foot up on the table and said "Corn!"
she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh.
when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt
the fishery be paying her to leave
they call her Norelco... Home of the triple head.
I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.
a skunk smelled her ass and passed out.
she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her hair, then she opened up her blouse!!
she made Right Guard turn left.
she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles.
she's got more clap than an auditorium.
she has to creep up on bathwater.
she has more crabs then Red Lobster.
she made right guard turn left.
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YO MOMMA LIKE >>
McDonalds... over 5 billion served world wide.
a bowling ball... round, heavy, and you can fit three fingers in.
a window, always open.
chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap!
Dominoes Pizza, something for nothing.
a gas station... you gotta pay before you pump.
a T.V. set, even a three year old can turn her on!
the pillbury doughboy - everyone gets a poke!
a Chinese restaurant, $4.95 all you can eat.
Discover card, she gives cash back.
a mail box, open day and night.
mustard, she spreads easy.
lettuce, 25 cents a head.
a bubble gum machine, 5 cents a blow.
a refridgerator: everyone likes to put their meat in her!
a hardware store, 25 cents a screw.
a race car driver, she burns a lot of rubbers.
a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen up!
a TV, even a 2 year old could turn her on.
a championship ring, everybody puts a finger in her.
a doorknob, everyone gets a turn!
a turtle, once she's on her back she's fucked.
a refridgerator, everyone puts their meat in her.
a brick, dirty, flat on both sides, and always getting laid by Mexicans.
McDonalds... What you want is what you get.
Denny's... open 24 hours.
a tomato source bottle, everyone gets a squeeze out of her!
a nickel, she ain't worth a dime.
a streetlamp, you can find her turned on at night on any street corner.
a bowling ball, she always winds up in the gutter.
a light switch, even a little kid can turn her on.
a bowling ball, she gets picked up, fingered, thrown down the gutter, and she still l comes back for more.
speakers, loud, ugly, lives in a box, and you can turn her up, down, on, and off.
a microwave, one button and she's hot.
the Panama Canal, vessels full of seamen pass through her everyday.
Orange Crush: "Good Vibrations!"
Pizza Hut, if she isn't there in 30 minutes... it's free.
the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen.
a squirrel, she's always got some nuts in her mouth.
a door knob, everybody gets a turn.
Dominoes Pizza, one call does it all.
Humpty Dumpty... first she gets humped, then she gets dumped.
a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded.
a chicken coop, cocks fly in and out all day.
a shotgun, one cock and she blows.
a railroad track, she gets laid all over the country.
a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece.
the Pillsbury dough boy - everybody pokes her.
a vacuum cleaner... she sucks, blows, and then gets laid in the closet.
a screen door, after a couple of bangs she loosens up.
an ice cream cone... everyone gets a lick.
a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her away.
a 5 foot tall basketball hoop, it ain't that hard to score.
Burger King... Your way, right away.
cheap liquor, tastes like shit.
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YO MAMMA SO HAIRY >>
she's a stunt double for Chubaca in Star Wars.
if I shaved her legs, I could supply wigs for the entire Hair Club for Men.
her breasts look like coconuts.
she's got afros on her nipples!
she spread her legs and said, "We're going to Busch Gardens."
she shaved her ass and she disappeared.
she got a trim and lost 10 pounds.
she has afros on her nipples.
she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock.
you almost died of rug burn at birth.
she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.
she shaves with a weedwacker.
Bigfoot is taking her picture!
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YO MOMA SO SLUTTY >>
when she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her nice belt!
she had her own "Hands across her ass" charity drive
she could suck-start a Harley!
I fucked her and I's a chick!
she blind and seeing another man.
that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought she was getting it three times.
is so long, its growing all the way down to her dick.
that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.
she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball!
she was on the cover of wheaties, with her legs open, and it said "breakfast of the champs"
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YO MAMA SO BIG >>
she whistles bass. she uses bowling balls for earrings.
she rollerskates on busses.
when you climb on top of her your ears pop.
she makes Pinochio look like a cat!
her belly button's got an echo.
when she stands up the sun goes out
they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.
when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!
when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.
you can go bowling with her boogers!
she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.
she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.
when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.
that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"
she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.
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YO MOMMA SO GREASY >>
Texaco buys Oil from her
she sweats Crisco!
she used bacon as a band-aid!
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YO MAMMA SO YELLOW >>
she spits butter!
traffic slows down when she smiles!
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YO MOMA SO LAZY >>
she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.
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YO MAMA SO SKINNY >>
she hula hoops with a cheerio
she has to wear a belt with spandex.
she turned sideways and dissapeared.
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YO MOMMA SO BALD >>
that she took a shower and got brain-washed.
even a wig wouldn't help!
you can see whats on her mind
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YO MAMMA SO TALL >>
she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.
she did a back-flip and kicked Jesus in the mouth.
she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.
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YO MOMA SO FLAT >>
she's jealous of the wall!
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YO MAMA GLASSES >>
that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.
she can see into the future.
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YO MOMMA HAS >>
10 fingers--all on the same hand.
one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying.
so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it.
a 'fro with warning lights.
one leg and a bicycle.
a short arm and can't applaude.
one hand and a Clapper.
a glass eye with a fish in it.
green hair and thinks she's a tree.
a short leg and walks in circles.
a wooden afro with an "X" carved in the back.
an afro with a chin strap.
4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses.
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YO MAMMA GOT >>
a bald head with a part and sideburns.
a wooden leg with a kickstand on it.
two wooden legs and one is one backward.
a' afro, wit' a chin strap!!!!
a wooden leg with branches.
so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail.
a metal afro with rusty sideburns.
so many freckles she looks like a hamburger!
three fingers and a banjo.
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YO MOMA SO SMALL >>
she has to go outside to eat a large pizza.
that when she orders a large pizza she had to go outside to eat it.
you have to go outside to change your mind.
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YO MAMA SO DIRTY >>
she has to creep up on bathwater.
roaches ride around on dune buggies!
she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
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YO MOMMA SO BIG >>
she whistles bass. she uses bowling balls for earrings.
she rollerskates on busses.
when you climb on top of her your ears pop.
she makes Pinochio look like a cat!
her belly button's got an echo.
when she stands up the sun goes out
they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.
when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!
when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.
you can go bowling with her boogers!
she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.
she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.
when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.
that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"
she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.
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YO MAMA JOKES >>
YO MOMMA JOKES >>
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