Question and Answer BLONDE JOKES >>
How is a blonde like peanut-butter?
They spread for the bread.
What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
She slipped off and fell down the drain.
Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
She missed.
What do Blondes say after sex?
1 - Thanks Guys.
2 - Are you boys all in the same band?
3 - Do you guys all play for the Swans?
How does a blond hemophiliac cure herself?
With acupuncture!
How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
Fertilised.
What important question does a blonde ask his/her mate before
Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
She kept having affairs with men!
What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
The more you bang it the looser it gets.
How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?
She has a checkbook.
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
"Oh look! Doughnut seeds!"
Did you hear about the blonde girl who thought her typewriter was pregnant?
Seems it was skipping periods.
What happened to the Blonde terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
She burned her lips on the exhaust pipe.
Why do blondes wear tampons?
Because crabs like Bungie Jumping too.
How does a blonde part their hair?
(Action of scissoring legs apart)
How do you drown a blonde?
Put a scratch and snif at the bottom of the pool.
Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling ?
A blond electrician
Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
Because at 69 they blow a rod...
Why are there no dumb brunettes?
Peroxide.
Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England?
She found out Big Ben is only a clock.
What did the blonde do when she got her period?
Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her?
What is the difference between a blonde and an inflatable doll?
About 2 cans of hair spray
What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?
They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".
How does a blonde part their hair?
1 - (Action of scissoring legs apart)
2 - By doing the splits.
What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
Bobbing for Bimbos.
If you have 3 blondes sitting on a couch, how do you know which one is the cock sucker?
The one spitting feathers!
What do you call a smart blond?
1 - A golden retriever.
2 - An indicator of a really bad hangover.
Why do blondes have vaginas?
So guys will talk to them at parties.
Why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm?
*Who cares?*
Why did the blonde cross the road?
Never mind that! What was she doing out of the bedroom?!?
Why do blondes wear tight skirts?
To keep their legs together.
What do blondes and cow chips have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
What is the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
One is a busy ditch.
How do blondes pierce their ears?
They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
How can you tell when a blonde is wearing pantyhose?
When she farts, her knees bag.
What goes "VROOOM SCREECH! VROOOM SCREECH! VROOOM SCREECH!"
A blonde at a flashing red light!
Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
Because it kept falling out.
Why do blondes write TGIF on their shoes?
Toes Go In First
What does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common?
1 - They both have a black box.
2 - Both have a cockpit.
What do a Bleached Blonde and a 747 have in common?
They both have little Black Boxes
What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet???
The winner of a Hide and Seek game.....
What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
Her ankles.
Why did the blonde get on the roof?
She heard that drinks were on the house
What does a blonde say in the morning?
Who ARE you guys?
Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
(With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!
Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!
How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?
One.
When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
After a dye job.
What do you call a blonde in leather jacket?
A rebel without a clue!
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
Both are empty from the neck up.
What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.
What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A blonde going through a flashing red light.
Why was the blonde wearing her sunglasses?
She was having sunny periods.
What does a Blonde make best for dinner?
Reservations. (another Jap joke?)
Why do blondes have periods?
They deserve them.
What does a blonde make best for dinner?
Reservations.
What do you call a brunette between 2 blondes?
An Interpreter.
What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla?
Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do...
Why are blondes hurt by peoples words?
Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
What is the definition of the perfect woman?
A deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a pub.
Why did they call the blond "Twinkie"?
She was always being filled with cream.
What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?
A thought.
What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort.
Why did the blonde want to become a veternarian?
Because she loved children.
What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
Two brunettes.
How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?
1 - 10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.
2 - Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.
Why do blondes always drink with straws?
Practice.
What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
How can you tell when a blonde is dating?
By the buckle print on her forehead.
What did the blonde say when she tried driving stick for the first time?
"How do you shift this thing?" (you make jacking off motions)
What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
Gifted!
Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of the pool?
Air pockets.
What did the blonde say when she opened the box of cheerios?
Oh look, daddy...doughnut seeds
Why do blondes like lightning?
They think someone is taking their picture.
Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
Because red means stop.
How do you get a blonde pregnant?
Come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.
What does a blond put behind her ears to attract men?
Her ankles!
Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
More leg room.
Whats the difference between a Blonde and a Supermarket Trolley.
A supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.
How do you brainwash a blonde?
Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
From eating with forks.
What is foreplay for a blonde?
Thirty minutes of begging.
How do you brainwash a Blonde?
Give her an enema.
How many blondes does it take to screw the entire Bengals team?
Just One... Boomer Esiason.
What does a blonde owl say?
What, what?
Do you know how blondes make babies?
1 - No
2 - Boy! And you thought blondes were stupid!
How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
She threw it off a cliff.
How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she
How do you kill a blonde?
Put spikes in their shoulder pads.
What do you call a brunette and four blondes standing on a street corner?
Regular price, 4 bucks, 4 bucks, 4 bucks, 4 bucks!
What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?
They both have black roots.
How does a blonde hold her liquor?
By the ears.
Why do blondes occupy about 90% of the net bandwidth?
Because they keep accidentally deleting their copies of the Blonde Joke List.
What do you see when you look deep into the eyes of a blonde?
The back of her head.
What is the difference between a blond and a 747?
Not everyone has been in a 747
Why does the blonde stand in front of a window during a thunder storm?
She loves taking pictures (flashes, got it?).
What do tou call ten blondes in a swimming pool?
An air pocket.
A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.
What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
"Nice tits!"
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Other BLONDE JOKES >>
Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger:
Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!
A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around an drove home.
On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.
Another blonde sent a post card home:
"Having a wonderful time....Where am I?"
This guy just started at his new job, working at a porno shop. His boss comes out and tells him that he has to leave for a while, and "can you handle it? "The new employee is somewhat reluctant, but with the boss's positive comments he finally agrees.
So, the guy is there by himself for a little while and a white woman comes in.
She asks, "How much for the white dildo?"
He answers, "$35."
She: "How much for the black one?"
He: "$35 for the black one, $35 for the white one."
She: "I think I'll take the black one. I've never had a black one before."
She pays him, and off she goes.
A little bit later a black woman comes in and asks "How much for the black dildo?"
He: "$35."
She: "How much for the white one?"
He: "$35 for the white one, $35 for the black one."
She: "Hmmm...I think I'll take the white one. I've never had a white one before..."
She pays him, and off she goes.
About an hour later a young blonde woman comes in and asks, "How much are your dildos?"
He: "$35 for the white, $35 for the black."
She: "Hmmmmm....how much is that plaid one on the shelf?"
He: "Well, that's a very special dildo...it'll cost you $165."
She thinks for a moment and answers, "I'll take the plaid one, I've never had a plaid one before...."
She pays him, and off she goes.
Finally, the guy's boss returns and asks, "How did you do while I was gone?"
To which the saleman responded, "I did really good, I sold one white dildo, one black dildo, and I sold your thermos for $165!"
Person 1: What's the difference between a blonde and garbage?
Person 2: Garbage gets taken out at least once a week.
Person 1: Wrong. You tie the garbage up before you take it out.
A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends:
Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!
Blonde: That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred.
Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.
Blonde: ( looking shocked ) Oh, you mean with one guy.
Did you here about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went ? It finally dawned on here.
There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.
Over the weekend I(can't remember name - on newsgrazer) heard a blonde telling this joke:
Blonde Asks: What do you call a blonde in between two brunettes?
Blonde Answers: An interprolater!
We were laughing so hard we thought we were going to die. The funny part was that she thought we were laughing at her joke.
At a carwash in Burbank, there were two identical Hondas coming out at the same time. A beautiful blond woman jumps into one and takes off, leaving its owner rather perplexed. About three minutes later, she reappears at the car wash yelling, "who ripped off my car phone!"
This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend, "Is it true that if you pull your finger out, I'll sink?"
Another blonde, another store. She goes over to the deodorant display and tells the clerk "I need to buy some deodorant for my husband."
"Does he use the ball kind?" enquired the clerk.
"No," replied the blonde, "The kind for under his arms."
After many hours of extremely acrobatic and exhausting sex with a blonde he had just picked up, a man goes into the kitchen for some food to replenish his just-spent energy. He pours himself a glass of milk and right before drinking it, he realizes his manhood is still pretty hot, so he sticks it in the glass to cool it off. Just then the blonde walks in and says, "Oh, I always wondered how you refilled those."
A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals (or for Bill Clinton capitols). She proudly said," go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."
A red head said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wisconsin?"
The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'."
A cop stops a blonde woman who was driving down a motorway.
"Miss, may I see your driver's licence please?"
"Driver's licence? What's that?..."
"It's a little card with your picture on it."
"Oh, duh! Here it is..."
"May I have your car insurance?"
"What's that?..."
"It's a document that says you are allowed to drive the car."
"Oh this? Duh! Here you go..."
The cop then takes his dick out of his pants, while the blonde exclaims:"Oh no, not another breathalyzer test!"
A blonde friend of mine was looking for some transportation, so I bought her a Woody. I called her up later and asked how she like it. She told me it was OK, but that it didn't look so good once she had taken it out of the crate.
There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced,
"I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.
Blondes...
They take a lickin', and keep on...
Lickin!
Three blondes were walking through the desert when found a magic genie's lamp
t he said, "I will grant three wishes, one for each of you." The first said, "I wish I were smarter". So she became a redhead.
The second blonde said "I wish I were smarter than her."
She became a brunette. The third blond said "I wish I were smarter than both of them." So she became a man.
Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:
Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb.
Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?
Blonde: Yes.
Operator: The power in the house in on?
Blonde: Of course.
Operator: And the switch is on?
Blonde: Yes, yes.
Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?
Blonde: No, it's working fine.
Operator: Then what's the problem?
Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves.
A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people were leaving.
... then there was the blonde who started the restaurant with the slogan "Billions Served - just today"
There were three women who were at the gynecologist having pre-natel checkups The doctor asked the first woman "in what position was the baby concieved ?"
"He was on top ", she replyed.
"You will have a boy !" the doctor exclaimed.
The second woman was asked the same question.
"I was on top ", was the reply.
"you will have a baby girl. " said the doctor.
With this, the third women, a blond, burst into tears.
"Whats the matter ?" asked the doc.
"Am I going to have puppies ?".....
Did you hear the one about the blonde who thought that "love handles" referred to her ears?
A dumb Blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, "Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to pass a test."
"Oh, No!" she said but Saint Peter said not to worry he'd make it easy.
"Who was God's son?" said Saint Peter.
The dumb Blonde thought for a few minutes and said "Andy!"
"That's interesting... What made you say that?" said Saint Peter
Then She started to sing "Andy walks with me! Andy talks with me! Andy tells me..."
A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!"
In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?" "I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.
Confucious say: blonde who fly upside down have crack up.
A blonde's response to the comment, "THINK about it!":
"I don't have to think -- I'm blonde!"
Last night I went home to my blonde girlfriend, and told her I was going to screw her brains out. Then I realized I was too late.
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No.Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, and one half hour later they were both killed by a train.
What about the blonde who gave birth to twins?
Her husband is out looking for the other man.
A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people were leaving.
A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and Shoulders" and it cleared it up. The blonde asked inquisitively,
"How do you give shoulders?"
The blonde came running downstairs, crying. Her mother asked what was wrong and the blonde said her boyfriend had just dropped her.
Her mother (a blonde) nodded wisely and proceeded to tell her about the birds and the bees and the blonde said: "No ma. I can fuck and suck with the best of them. But he says I can't cook"
This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend, "Is it true that if you pull you finger out, I'll sink?"
A government study has shown that blondes do have more fun - they just don't remember who with.
A blonde was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over her. The blonde says, "Good thing I had my mouth open, or that would've hit me right in the face!!!"
Or: "Good thing that cows don't fly.
Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her lawyer explained to her that she needed a liquor license?
"Oh, it's not gonna be THAT kind of a bar. That's disgusting!"
... then there was the blonde who started the restaurant with the slogan "Billions Served - just today"
A blonde was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over her.
The blonde says, "Good thing I had my mouth open, or that would've hit me right in the face!!!"
I told my blonde girlfriend that I was going skeet shooting.
She told me she didn't know how to cook them.
Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:
Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb.
Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?
Blonde: Yes.
Operator: The power in the house in on?
Blonde: Of course.
Operator: And the switch is on?
Blonde: Yes, yes.
Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?
Blonde: No, it's working fine.
Operator: Then what's the problem?
Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves.
Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!
A blonde was telling a priest a Pollock joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, "Don't you know I'm Polish?"
"Oh, I'm sorry," the blonde apologizes, "do you want me to start over and talk slower?"
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those arn't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No.
Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, and one half hour later they were both killed by a train.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the bartender:
Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."
Bartender:"What is a B and C?".
Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."
Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."
Bartender: "What's a G and T?"
Redhead: "Gin and tonic."
Blonde: "I'll have a 15."
Bartender: "What's a 15?"
Blonde: "7 and 7"
Two brunettes and a blonde are in the hospital awaiting the arrival of their first children. The 1st brunette says, "I just know I'm going to have a girl, 'cuz I conceived while I was on my back". The 2nd brunette says, "Mine's going to be a boy, 'cuz I was on top during conception". The blonde says, "Uh-oh! I'm going to have a puppy!"
There were three women who were at the gynecologist having pre-natal checkups. The doctor asked the first woman "in what position was the baby conceived ?"
"He was on top ", she replied.
"You will have a boy !" the doctor exclaimed.
The second woman was asked the same question.
"I was on top ", was the reply.
"you will have a baby girl. " said the doctor.
With this, the third women, a blond, burst into tears.
"Whats the matter ?" asked the doc.
"Am I going to have puppies ?".....
Imitation of a blonde refuelling..
(Flap hand, blowing air into ears)
A blonde goes into the drug store to buy some rubbers (so she can practice safe sex). She walks up to the pharmicist and asks "How much for a box of rubbers?"
"They're $1 for a box of 3," he replied, "Plus 6 cents for the tax."
"Oh," said the blonde, "I wondered how they kept them on."
Two blondes were walking along and came upon some tracks. One blonde said, "Those look like deer tracks", and the other said, "No, they look more like moose tracks". They were still arguing when the train hit them.
A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around an drove home.
On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.
There was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio. The announcer was telling blonde joke after blonde joke until the blonde was mad enough she turned her radio off. A mile down the road, she saw another blonde out in a corn field in a boat rowing. The blonde stopped her car jumped out and yelled, "You bimbo, it's blondes like you that give us all a bad name. If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"
Blondes...
They take a lickin', and keep on...
Lickin!
The blonde came running downstairs, crying. Her mother asked what was wrong and the blonde said her boyfriend had just dropped her.
Her mother (a blonde) nodded wisely and proceeded to tell her about the birds and the bees and the blonde said: "No ma. I can fuck and suck with the best of them. But he says I can't cook"
A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends:
Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!
Blonde: That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred.
Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.
Blonde: ( looking shocked ) Oh, you mean with one guy.
If Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde were standing together and someone dropped a $100 bill in front of them, who would pick it up?
The dumb blonde....there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or a smart blonde.
Teller: Why did the blonde move to L.A.?
Blonde: I don't know. Why?
Teller: It was easier to spell.
Blonde: Easier than what?
Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
This beautiful blonde is speeding through town when a police officer pulls her over. The cop says "May I see your license please?" The blonde shows a puzzled look on her face and asks what a license is.
The cop answers by saying that she had to take a written test, a drivers test, then if she passed, she got a little piece of paper with her picture and her address on it incased in plastic. "Oh, I think I've got one of those. So the blonde digs in her purse and pulls out the license. The officer goes back to call it in. A minute later, he
returns and asks for her registration. "What's a regristration?" she asks. "When you purchase a car, we send you license plates, a sticker and a little pink peice of paper with the model of the car on it." She stops and thinks about it for a minute, then says "OH, I think I have one of those." And she digs in the glove compartment and produces the regristration slip. The cop goes back to the squad car and calls it in. A minute or two later, the cop comes back with his pants down and his rod hanging out. "Miss I'm going to have to ask you to take a breathalizer test."
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie". The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"
How is a blonde like a.......
Hairdryer? Turn her on and she starts to blow.
Vaccum Cleaner? Turn her on and she starts to suck.
Light Switch? Even a six year old can turn her on.
Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to "iron", then we could do without the ironing lady.
Blonde Wife: Well if you would learn to Fuck me properly we could do without the gardener.
A blonde is suffering froma sore throat so she goes to see the doctor.
She explains the problem to the doctor who asks her to sit down. He gets out his torch and says "Open wide". "I can't," replies the blonde, "the chair's fitted with arms."
Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to "iron", then we could do without the ironing lady.
Blonde Wife: Well, if you would learn to fuck me properly we could do without the gardener.
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie". The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"
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Did you hear about >>
the blonde who got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up?
the blond prostitute who didn't vote? She didn't care who got in.
the blonde housewife who was mad at her husband because he was out shooting craps and she didn't know how to cook them.
the suicide blonde, she dyed by her own hand.
the blonde who was an M.D. - Mentally Deficient?
the blond who had a hysterectomy so she'd stop having grandchildren?
the blonde that went to library and checked out a book called "How to Hug"? Got back to the dorm and found out it was volume seven of the encyclopaedia...
the blonde who lost her mind? She worked in a whorehouse for 6 years and then found out the other girls got paid!
the blond who was two hours late getting home because the escalator got stuck?
the blond prostitute who didn't vote? She didn't care who got in.
the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?
the blonde housewife who was mad at her husband because he was out shooting craps and she didn't know how to cook them.
the blonde who lost her mind? She worked in a whorehouse for 6 years and then found out the other girls got paid!
the blond guy whose wife gave birth to twins? He wanted to know who the other man was...
the blond who had a hysterectomy so she'd stop having grandchildren?
the blonde who, after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?
the blonde who was told she was a silly puss, but insisted she didn't have a crazy cat?
the blonde who only smelled good on the right side? She didn't know where to buy left guard.
the blond who stayed up all night studying for her urine test?
the blond who was two hours late getting home because the escalator got stuck?
the blonde who had a terrific stairway, but nothing upstairs?
the blonde who thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates?
the blonde who took an hour to cook Minute Rice?
the blonde who thought a sanitary belt was a drink from a clean glass?
the blonde that went to library and checked out a book called "How to Hug"? Got back to the dorm and found out it was volume seven of the encyclopaedia...
the blonde who thought that "love handles" referred to her ears?
the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went ? It finally dawned on here.
the blond who stayed up all night studying for her urine test?
the blonde who had more on her body than on her mind?
the blonde who was called "Sanka" because she had no active ingredient in the bean?
the pregnant blonde who went to the grocery store because she heard they had free delivery.
the pregnant blonde who went to the grocery store because she heard they had free delivery.
the blonde who only smelled good on the right side? She didn't know where to buy left guard.
the blonde who thought a sanitary belt was a drink from a clean glass?
the blonde who went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker?
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BLONDE JOKES >>
DUMB BLONDE FUNNY JOKES >>
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